Happy Mothers Day

I remember as a child loving Mother's Day, we had spent time as kids making our presents in school and anticipating just how much mom was going to LOVE it. Sure it was just a recipe holder but it was a recipe holder from ME, and that meant something to both of us. She would be all surprised and excited to get her gifts, she would Ooohh and Aaahh over them and then at times even USED them (that blessed woman).

As a daughter I looked up to her and still do and all I wanted to do was please her, and Dad too. But more than anything I wanted to be just like her! She was and is amazing. She could bake and cook and kept a very clean house despite having 5 kids (I still don't know how she did that). She taught us she hugged us, she read to us out of the Friend and I always remember how she would cry when she read to us, now I do the same thing! But most of all she loved us, even at times when we didn't want to be loved.

I would wear the dress she had just made me for Easter to show her how much I loved and appreciated it, I would make a special effort to not complain and to do the dishes and even a few breakfasts in bed, though that was hard since Mom and Dad always woke up so stinkin early. I just remember wanting to please her especially on Mother's Day, I still do I guess.

She was there when I became a mother, and has loved and helped me through many difficult mothering moments. And as much as I love celebrating and giving love to my mom on Mothers Day, I hate mothers day for me. I tolerate it and show excitement for the gifts my kids give me because that's what my mom did and I know I should. (however I do really love the things the boys and Railey gave me) But I hate going to church and hearing all the talks on how good mothers are and feeling like I am failing or falling way short. To be honest it is just such a hard day. I want to go crawl in bed and lock my door. It seems the kids always fight more and don't want their dinner more and wear their raggiest clothes that they own more, and I just think why do they have mothers day? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom and wife!!!!! I just feel more and more guilt on this day than on most.

That is until Steve walks in and holds me and says, "they won't fight forever, they won't not eat forever, they won't cuddle us in bed forever--just enjoy it while it lasts!" So I have changed my attitude from this morning and I am trying really hard to enjoy the day it only comes once a year (thank goodness) and my kids really are trying hard to please me. And I don't know how many "I love you"s I have got today. And I have a husband who just wants to see me smile. So for today I am going to soak it all up and love every minute of the rest of my mothering day, fighting and all.

Mom I do love you and Momma I love you too. Thanks for raising a son who loves and respects me as wife and mother. I know he learned that from you and Daddy. Thanks for your great example and for showing that to me and our kids. I love both of my mother's today and always.

both my moms